How You Talk to Your Kids

I had a realization today – sometimes I catch myself, more or less, ordering my sons to do things. The word "ordering" gets in the way here. Feel free to insert "asking", "telling" or whatever – but the idea of saying something like "No, you can’t do that." or "You have to…"

I’m talking about general stuff – "You can’t go for a run, it’s 108 degrees." We live in Texas.

What occurred to me today was that it’s funny how we don’t talk to other people that way. My son is almost 20 and I wouldn’t tell other 20-year-old men what to do or not do.

But he’s my son. Sure, that’s legit. But still, if he were in the military or married and moved out or even just lived in a dorm and I didn’t know he was going for a run, it wouldn’t come up.

Then I realized – I’ve spent 2 decades telling him what to do and not do. Let the reader understand: I’m not bossing my son around all the time but hopefully you’re reasonable and see what I mean. "You need to eat this." "You should put that away." "Put those in the dishwasher." "Get your laundry out, please."

I guess old habits (and lifestyles, relationships, etc.) are hard to break. It’s a long process to launch kids out of the home and parent-child relationship. My guess is in some ways it never stops and I’m glad for that. I don’t ever want my sons to not be my sons in all possible ways.